“If Spiffy is unable to pilot a plane, the Orient Express is my second choice for travelling long distances”. Harriet, First Lady of the Adventurer’s Club 1937
Travelling from Koh Phangan to Siem Reap via Bangkok involved almost 3 days of travelling and a constant, where am I now? feeling.
A tuk tuk picked us up from the Haad Son Resort at the very reasonable time of 11am and took us to Thong Sala docks. Here we waited in amongst the backpackers exodus for the ferry to take us back to the Thai mainland. Of course after 11 days of almost solid rain the weather that day was postcard perfect. I would have rather been at the beach but at least it meant that the sea was calm and I did not get nauseous. We paid about £1 extra again for a seat indoors with air conditioning. I listened to the first chapter of How to Win Friends and Influence People, for about the 20th time. The narrator’s voice is like honey, so soothing it always sends me to sleep. It is annoying that after 2 months I still have not gotten past the first principle but I’m hoping that the message of the book is somehow sinking into my brain while I sleep. On an unrelated note, I genuinely appreciate you all.
After a couple of hours at sea, we transferred to a bus which was to take us to Surat Thani train station. The bus had massive metal fans which were clearly just for decoration as not a single one worked. Team work amongst the passengers was required to open the massive windows and cool the bus down from it’s original 300 degrees. The scenery in Thailand is just beautiful. We passed so many undeveloped parts which I would have loved to get off the bus to discover. During the journey we had a quick rest stop where the bus driver tried his hardest to leave people behind. Maybe he gets commission for every person who he forces to live there? The bus left the rest stop earlier than planned and there were people running after the bus (which had all their luggage on it) and people screaming at the driver to stop and let them on. He barely opened the doors long enough for the poor paniced passengers to jump on. Such a dick move.
We had a couple of hours to kill before we caught our train to Bangkok so we got some dinner at a street side cafe. We decided to catch an overnight train to Bangkok as it is cheaper than flying and we presumed it would be much less hellish than a bus ride. I think there is something very romantic about train travel. I’m not suggesting this was the Orient Express by any means but I was still looking forward to the journey. I was hoping there may be a Professor Layton style mystery for me to solve along the way.
At the train station to get from one platform to another we had to WALK ACROSS THE TRAIN TRACKS. I still remember my train safety lesson at primary school and I know walking across train tracks in a big no no and always ends in certain death. The cartoons of people losing an arm or their head have stayed with me. A bit too scary for my liking. There were signs at the station advising you not to cover your hands in expensive jewellery and then stick it out of the window of a moving train. I took heed of this advice but I would have been impressed to see a train ring thief at work. The train carriage had seats facing each other, large enough for two people and comfortable by train standard. Dan and I were not sitting together which serves us right for buying our tickets at the last-minute. Luckily, the woman sitting opposite me showed no signs of being a weirdo, in fact she slept with a teddy bear. A woman clearly after my own heart. Long journeys are just not the same without my Pooh San. We sat in our chairs for about an hour trying to not touch legs or look at each other until the conductor walked through the carriage and made up everyone’s bed. The chairs turned into bunk beds and I had the top bunk – PRO: Less chance of someone stealing anything or getting in bed with me. CON: I was convinced I would roll out. The bed was made up with sheets, a pillow and a light. It was exactly like the capsule hotels I stayed at in Japan with the same coffin like charm. There was a curtain for privacy and straps from the curtain pole to the bed to prevent fall outs. The train was very rocky, especially up on the top bunk. I took some of my magic travel sickness pills, got into my silk sack and read my book. The conductor did not come by to tuck me in. Just like in the capsule hotel there was plenty of room to keep my rucksack in the bed with me. I purposely wore jammy like clothing so there was no hassle with changing or being uncomfortable. There was a toilet in the carriage which was completely fine. I had had nightmares about being on the train for 12 hours with a hole in the floor toilet which I would not be able to use. I drifted off easily. Something about travelling makes me so sleepy which makes little sense. How can sitting on my bum, napping all day make me tired? The train rocked about a lot and there was a lot of starting and stopping and screechy brakes but overall it was more comfortable than I thought it would be. I was freezing all night. My bed was at the end of the carriage and I got a constant icy draft from somewhere. Next time I take the night train I will definitely take more clothes. As usual in communal sleeping situations someone had to snore like a wildebeest all night long. Thanks guy across the aisle to me! I hate you! I still managed to sleep for a good 7 or so hours. There was no falling out or mystery solving. Before I knew it we arrived all stinky and disarrayed at Bangkok’s main train station, Hualamphong, just as the sun was coming up on another chaotic day in the city.
